Even an old dog can learn quantum theories

           To my readers, my apologies about the title. I’ve always been fascinated with the word “quantum” and wanted to use it somewhere. Since I’ve been watching “The Big Bang Theory” a lot these days, I figured the old saying “even an old dog can learn a new trick” needed a more updated lingo to it…and thus…being replaced with quantum theories. Yes, there is some relevance of the title to this blog, I assure you. Keep reading.

            I just taught myself how to screen capture something on my pc like I can do on my iPod. I never knew you could do that on a computer. Yah see, I’m old. Go figure. One of my favorite sayings I use a lot is one I heard watching the movie “Live Free or Die Hard.” Timothy Olyphant’s character, a techno terrorist, speaks to Bruce Willis’s character John McClane that McClane’s “a Timex watch in a digital age.” That saying is me to the letter. Of course I’ve caught up with the times finally by purchasing an HP lap top last year that has Windows 7 and a fingerprint scanner (so damn cool); compared to my old Toshiba one that held Windows XP and the original Minesweeper game on it. This new computer has a ridiculous AMD Vision 6 processor pushing gigahertz out the ying yang with a quad core at its base foundation. I can even watch how much it “pushes” with the little gadgets on my home screen. It’s awesome! Yes, I’m sounding like a geek/nerd…so sue me.

            See, to me, technology is a gift and a curse. I love computers, cell phones, video game platforms, and so on. Of course I do. I was raised with the help of my parents when I was a young guy, but when both parents wanted to work, my younger brother and I became “latchkey kids.” For those of you who have no clue what that term means, let me explain it. Latchkey kids were the children who came home from school, practice, the park, wherever and stayed at home alone until their parents returned from any work-related or pleasure-related activity he/she was doing. So when my parents weren’t around, we locked down the house and let Nickelodeon, the WB, Mtv, and Nintendo keep us secure. So the television, computer, and N64 became our technological parents for a few hours. 90s kids were the forefront for texting, Twitter, Facebook, the 360, and wireless internet. And thus, why I don’t mind technology. BUT…when that technology interferes with social interaction and education; well then it becomes a curse.

            How so? Look at texting. I had the luxury of being in a relationship with a female wwaaayyy younger than me many moons ago. You know how she wanted to communicate with me? Try through Myspace and text messaging. The thing is…it hasn’t changed. IT’S STILL LIKE THAT! I know many women and men who think texting is a form of communication. Texting is a dead language folks. Emoticons and LOLs do not present the true emotion of what you are speaking about. It is so annoying when you call someone and talk with them for several minutes then when you hang up they’ll text for hours after. Yes, texting is unlimited by now…but if you wanna talk about class assignments just call and set up a meet. It’s much easier talking about the battle plans of a certain general on paper than putting it in a damn 6 x 4 inch touch screen. I blame the CrackBerry for that example.

            Here’s another. I tutor a young man named Houston. He goes to Phillipsburg High School. Go ahead Easton locals, say boo now. Anyways, the young man is smart. He’s ahead of the curve for a 17 year old in high school. Already, he has his own style and bravado dressing like a lead singer for a punk band. No, not the new age punk. I’m talking about the GOOD age original punk. Like rocking his Rancid t-shirt, leather black jacket, wallet with the belt chain…the kid is a rebel. He gets science and history. He even understands English. But get this. Remember when you were in grade school and you had to map out all the words of a sentence. You know, like adverbs, prepositional phrases, adjectives, pronouns, articles, and so on. Remember that? According to Houston, his classmates NEVER learned it. I’m serious. Not a clue. So when he needed help on his paper and I was pointing out things that were grammatically impossible to understand (and with my southern education I’m the expert on this….please), he gave me the turned head Stewie Griffin look the whole time, wide eyed and all. Are you kidding me!? Another thing they don’t do that these teachers assume the student will learn on their own; basic mathematical tables. Like multiplication tables, squares, and cubes of numbers…even division. I know, absolutely crazy! They can’t read analog watches…with the hands! I’m not making this up. Oh and Houston needs his calculator for everything. I have to snatch it from him and put paper in front of him and say “on paper sport, show your work.” It’s insane. Sometimes I want to take that damn Ti-whatever and chunk right out of the Panera Bread window where we meet.

            Houston believes that teachers and the education system are slacking in some departments due to the pull back of funds for the entire educational program. They have to work with what they got. He told me that some teachers just don’t care anymore. They let the internet educate them on their own time. *Waving my hands, flapping my wings over here* Hey, secondary education majors and future educators, PLEASE don’t be like that. Don’t let technology let you slack. These young adults are our future. If they don’t understand sentence structure, please don’t assume they can get it from the internet. The internet is a HUGE distraction to many people. I should know. 10 page paper due…eh, let me see what’s going on on Facebook. Several hours later: F^%$!!! It’s the same for grade school kids as well.

See, technology can be helpful if you need to go on Youtube to figure out the best and cheapest way to fix something like the Red Ring of Death on an Xbox 360 when you don’t wanna fork over 100 samolians to Microsoft to get it fixed; or it can be a curse with all its distractions and annoying pop-ups saying “buy me, buy me” or Facebook messenger blowing up asking “how sick was that party last night?” Cell phones are awesome if you need to find out what time the dinner is that night without alerting your boss or getting on the phone; or it can be a hindrance when you’re actually texting during a movie you spent an arm and a leg for just to see “The Avengers” with your $5 popcorn that’s the size of a kid’s lunchbox. I understand how you feel. I saw my cousin flip out and go mental when she lost her iPhone at the bar and couldn’t get it replaced for 5 days. Folks need their phones. I get that. BUT…do you really need it? If it’s a work phone or an emergency for your kids; of course, why not.  But for EVERYTHING…come on.

Go unplugged for a full 24hour day. See if you can survive. Technology is like smoking, it’s a habit you find yourself doing even when you don’t want to. Quitting on it is the same way. Can’t beat it cold turkey. Instead, you have to wean or cut-back on it day by day. Try it. See if you can pull it off.

In closing, remember the sh!t you learned on paper when you were young. It looks like in 10 years, paper won’t even exist. Everything will be e-book this or e-note that…blah blah blah. F^cking tablets. Just saying. Keep with the times and be upgradeable, but also fight to be an antique with beta programming. Our grandparents turned out fine being old-school. Why change that? If it ain’t broke…why fix it? I say keep it old school, learn new school, and pity the fool! Then again, that’s just me…”a Timex watch in a digital age.” True, but hey…at least I can read the hands of time.